Strength of Character

Reading:   Exodus 23

Peer pressure is no joke.  I have found myself down roads I would typically avoid merely because I wanted the approval of friends.  It truly is a sad state of being to realize you are somewhere you never wanted to be due to the wiles of peer pressure...

EXODUS 23:2

2 Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment:

The first part of this verse is straight forward - if everyone else is doing something, or leaning towards, or aspiring to do evil, DON'T FOLLOW!  But the second part if the verse is a little more cryptic in its language; basically though, if you are required to give testimony, to "speak in a cause," don't decline (slide) toward the voice of others in order to wrest (twist) the truth.  Speak the truth, only speak the truth, don't let the crowd dictate your voice.

As I have aged, and gained wisdom through experience, I have found my own way on many occassions, contrary to the crowd, and in all aspects of my personal life (my beard, an 11-inch braided fumanchu, is a clear indication of that).  My choices have not always been the correct ones, and I have learned some hard lessons, but I can honestly say I have not been a follower.  Don't get me wrong, I do try and walk in the paths of righteousness as dictated by the gospel and example of Jesus but my walkways are not always instep with others that follow Him.  I have found myself much less concerned about how others view me (especially those in my own faith whom I often find extremely judgemental and unwilling to compromise their own stubborn practices no matter how obtuse or strained they are in relation to the teachings of God).  These days I care more about how my actions will effect my wife and children more than any other influencing factor and I pray, sincerely pray, that my children learn this skill early in their lives (it saves a tremendous amount of sorrow).

I must admit that I had great trepidation about releasing my first novel (Bouncer).  I was concerned about the critical reviews it might garner but ultimately released it for publication after reading the novel to my wife and children and receiving their raving endorsement.  Here to, writing this blog, I have found myself concerned about certain words or opinions that might offend; but, have overcome that as well - don't like it, don't read it!  I bring this up because I want to illustrate that even now I find cause to listen or find sway in the crowd - it never ends - the trick is in contemplation, knowledge of yourself, and ultimately faith that there is a higher power that would not lead you down the wrong road.  Sometimes the crowd is right.  Listen, pray, then decide!

I know I have rambled on quite a bit today but this is a big topic and I have watched my teenaged children make choices based on their friends and the sway of the crowd - it stings.  I want to scream at them to watch out.  I want to protect them from the oncoming traffic of sorrow through wrong choices.  I want them to trust and believe what my wife and I try to teach from our own experiences.  There is so much they can learn but I also realize that they are as I once was (a stubborn, independent fool that believed I knew everything) and the pain of lessons learned must be endured.  It hurts to watch but is so uplifting when the knowledge is realized through their personal experience and positive growth.

Finally, I want to share a portion of a talk from W. Craig Zwick from his address, We Will Not Yield, We Cannot Yield, delivered at the April 2008 General Conference:

  Ethan, a young friend of mine, approached his mother with a weighty question. Like most teenagers, Ethan wants to be independent, self-sufficient, and surrounded by good friends. He is trying to make good choices on his own. He is exceedingly valiant, works hard on his grades, and studies the scriptures daily. Like all young people, Ethan faces tremendous temptations. It comes in the halls of his school, on the Internet, in the movies and music. It can be heard in bad language and seen in provocative clothing. That which is wrong is often made to look right. Anxiety and fear of rejection are common among teenagers. Peer pressure is often overpowering. Ethan was feeling bombarded with opposing values. 

  This is the question he asked his mother: "Mom, do I need to lower my standards to keep my friends?" 

  It is a profound question for each of us to consider at all stages of life. Are we lowering our standards to fit into our neighborhoods? Are we altering our values to suit the situation in the workplace or to be popular at school? 

  Ethan's loving mother answered him with a resounding no. 

  I, too, unequivocally answer, "Don't do it, Ethan. Never forget that you are a son of God. He loves you. Live by your standards. Stand up for what you believe in. Sometimes it is not easy, and you may be standing alone for awhile. Look for friends with integrity and character, then go to them and express appreciation for their examples. You might even find someone who has been feeling as lonely as you. Pray for guidance and protection from the Lord. He will sustain you. He will become a trusted friend, and you will discover that your example will attract many friends who will take courage from your strength of character." 

Let others take courage and direction from your "strength of character" don't let your character be defined by the dictates of others - especially when the others follow the dictates of evil!

~Kipling